One personality trait of New York City that I don’t particularly love is how transient everything/everyone is. It’s such a come-and-go city, and you’re constantly having to say goodbye or introduce yourself. Even with people who are in the city “long-term" - everyone is such a busy bee that it’s hard to predict when you’ll see someone again. Don’t get me wrong, I love that the constant coming and going gives me so many opps to meet new people, and the expansion of my social circle recently has been nothing but thrilling for this ESFJ gal. But it’s what these relationships are becoming, and what the end result could be in a city like NY that is sometimes challenging to accept.
The nature of my job is also very transient. I’ve learned that publicists don’t typically stay at the same agency for more than 1-2 years. I think Small Girls has a higher employee retention rate, but I’ve already experienced so much team change in the short time I’ve been there and it always takes time to adjust to the new team dynamic.
At the root of my discomfort with all this change is my tendency to get really attached to things/people who bring me a sense of comfort. I find that to be the case with my current apartment as well. My current living situation is so perfect and comfortable, and the thought of potentially having to move out when my lease is up scares the shizz outta me. It’s safe to say I’m veryyyy attached to and obsessed with the place.
I think it’s ok to really love something/someone, but it becomes unhealthy attachment when you obsess over it to the point of idolization. I was really convicted of that one day by Matthew 6:19-21. “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Without a doubt, my heart definitely belongs to the things of this world because I spend more time worrying about my lease and friends who might move away from me, than I do my relationship with God.
We are, at our core, transient beings. Our time here on earth is supposed to be temporary because it’s not really where we belong. We’re only here for a short stint - a business trip, if you will. ;) We were not created to grow so attached to this planet, but we’ve completely forgotten that because this world tells us our whole identities revolve around the “treasures” we’ve stored up here. And that is a lie that is really hard to unlearn.
But as with everything, the first step is acknowledging that you’ve become a believer of this false truth, and with time, the hope is that it transforms your mindset. I wish I could tell you that there’s some magic formula out there that allows us to detach ourselves from our earthy possessions. If there is one, I have yet to discover it. But rather than focus my time on trying to know the unknown, I can focus on what I do know works - prayer and asking God to remove the earth goggles (lol i couldn’t find another phrase) from my eyes so that I can let go of things/people, fully at peace knowing that it’s not what God has intended for me.
Again, I’m not saying it’s bad to love certain people and things in your life, it’s one of God’s commandments for us after all. But when God has different plans that involve the departure of these people and things from your life, I pray that it would not feel like the end of the world. Letting go is a brave and scary decision, but it’s also a joyful one because we’re making room for God to reveal beautiful things to us. So let’s embrace our transience and consider all the comings and goings as timely blessings and treats on the journey to our final destination! :D
xx, jolene
RECENT BLESSINGS IN NYC <3
gal pals from my small group who have become such a source of encouragement to me!! time spent with them is truly so precious I could not ask for anything more :)
Helen after she became a FIANCÉE!! Me, Helen, and Phil all joined the small group around the same time, and it’s been cool to see how we’ve each been welcomed and poured into by everyone!! And wowza would you look at the view!! A perfect proposal spot, good job Phil.
Evelyn!!! We were so enthralled by this quirky lil cafe (complete with a step stool to reach the ordering window) we found en route to Phil + Helen’s engagement!
(part of) our Home Group. LMAO love how half the bois are not ready for this pic. 🥴