*This post is part of a 6-part series in which I show you my weekly reflections during the 6-week mission trip. I'll be releasing one part every week so check back often if you would like to relive my trip with me!
W E E K 4 : J U L Y 9 - J U L Y 1 6
Where did the time go?!? I cannot believe we are in our last week of ministry! These past 3 weeks have been such a surreal experience for me and the fact that it's all ending soon is mind-boggling!! Recently I've been processing through what I'm supposed to respond with when people ask how my trip went. I don't even know what to tell them cuz there's just so much to share.
But that's still some time away so I'll talk about what I experienced this past week! TBH this last week was SO HARD! I really didn't know if I'd make it through. I was so emotionally, mentally, and physically tired that I just didn't want to go on. I didn't want to go to any of my follow-ups and there were times I didn't want to talk to anybody, even my lovely team. Class was (an even bigger) struggle. I wanted to love my teachers but it was so difficult to fight the exhaustion. Also, so many of my teammates were getting sick and experiencing digestive issues and it was hard to watch them struggle knowing I couldn't do anything but wait for God's healing hand.
But again, God pulled through and when I needed it, He gave me energy to show love. Even now I'm sitting here wondering how I got to this point, past the fatigue and emotional deadness I felt last week. More proof that our God is the greatest!
This past week, we were also given challenges by the Team Leaders and mine was to initiate fishing/sharing** with 3 upperclassmen. I guess I didn't realize it but before, I always gravitated to sharing with other freshmen. The Team Leaders actually gave me this challenge because I had expressed my insecurities with leading upperclassmen small group next year. This challenge gave me a chance to dig deeper into why I was so insecure. In the end, God revealed to me that it all stemmed from my pride. Actually on this trip, God has been revealing a lot to me about my pride and how much I actually value it. I actually value it so much that it becomes an obstacle to my loving others. In my mind, upperclassmen have so much more experience and much better things to say than me. So what could I possibly say that will add to the convo? But honestly, I think I'm most scared of how small I'll feel compared to them. I'm afraid of my pride being crushed. Ugh pride. It's honestly one of my biggest struggles. But thankful for God at work in me.
Another thing I got to do this week is write stories about my teammates and their interactions with the students here. At first, the idea of being on story team*** kinda stressed me out and I saw it as something I had to do. But I think it's been so much more fulfilling than I thought it'd be. God has been revealing Himself to me through other people's stories, which has been SO cool! I learn something new about God's character through every interview, through every story I craft. And seeing/hearing my teammates' love for the Lord has been really encouraging. I can see it on their faces and in the sound of their voice and it makes me smile. And I'm sure God is smiling from above, just watching His beloved children love Him so deeply.
That was a good reminder for me. That above all things, above launching movements, above hearing PRCs, we are to first and foremost love the Lord. So here's to a brand new week with brand new opportunities to love the Lord! Last week here we comeeeee!!!
~jo
**"fishing" is when we would go look for students to have spiritual conversations with
***As a Cru story team writer, I would look for interesting stories while on mission and write about them to share with friends and family and readers all the things God is doing in East Asia