Let’s face it. We’ve all felt it at one point, that feeling that you’re missing out on creating some really good memories with your pals and you feel like they’ll make some inside joke that you won’t get cuz you weren’t there and that you’ll grow more and more distant from them and that soon you’ll lose all your friends and be a lonely potato. All because you couldn’t make it to that one hangout. Ok maybe it’s not that extreme (or maybe it is), but the fact remains. FOMO is real, and it is unhealthy.
First of all, let’s break down what FOMO is. If you have no clue what I’m talking about, FOMO stands for “Fear of Missing Out.” And like the term suggests, it occurs when someone develops a fear that they will be excluded from their friend group because they cannot make it to an event or hangout. It can cause major feelings of distress and much of that person’s mind space becomes occupied with thoughts of whatever it is they’re missing out on.
Not gonna lie, I feel FOMO more often than I’d like to admit. I don’t think I really understood what FOMO meant until college, when I found myself torn between multiple commitments that often had overlaps. I would feel AWFUL because I felt like my friends were off having a blast and that after they all got closer to one another, they would think less of me as a friend because I wasn’t there to create those memories with them. Irrational, I KNOW.
That ‘s exactly what FOMO is, irrational. But it’s also part of being human. Whether we like it or not, we ALL struggle with it. You might say, “Well if it’s just a natural part of being human, then it should be ok right? There’s nothing I can do about it anyway.” Wrong and wrong. It’s not ok, and there are steps you can take to prevent FOMO from taking over your life.
Step 1: Recognize that FOMO is unhealthy.
Let me clarify. I’m not saying that you’re an awful person for feeling FOMO. If I was, then I’d be the most awful person out there. What I am saying is it’s not ok to allow FOMO to dictate and control our lives. Whether we’re aware of it or not, a lot of our decisions are actually made out of FOMO. When we decide to go hang out instead of studying for that exam we have tomorrow, that’s FOMO. When we prioritize spending time with our friends over our family, that’s FOMO. You get the idea. FOMO is unhealthy. And like any other illness, we need to figure out the root of the problem in order to effectively make it go away.
Step 2: “Why am I really feeling FOMO?”
God created us to be relational beings, which is why we crave and value friendships. And that’s ok! That’s what God wants us to do, and that’s how we glorify God and share His love as one body. But we often allow our human selfishness to get the better of us and forget why God made us to be relational. Creating relationships then becomes more about finding our worth from others. And we often do pretty desperate things to feel love and appreciation from people… yikes! All the while, we completely forget that we already have a God who loves us so much despite what we do or don’t do. And because we have a God who loves us so much, he always has the best plan for us, and that includes our friendships.
Step 3: Entrust your relationships/friendships to God.
By allowing FOMO to dictate our decisions, what we’re essentially saying is that God doesn’t have full control of our lives and He doesn’t have the power to take care of our relationships. Put in simpler terms, we’re saying that God is not God… ouch! But He IS God! And He is a God who provides, meaning that yes, even our friendships are also the result of His provision. So, instead of reacting to FOMO, trust that God is working through and protecting your relationships even if you can’t make it to that one hangout cuz you’re studying for that one chem exam (true story).
This post BY NO MEANS makes me an expert on fighting FOMO. This has been and is still one of my biggest battles. I’ll be the first to admit, trusting God with my friendships, or anything for that matter, is not the easiest. But that doesn’t change the fact that God is faithful and is watching out for me AND my friendships. And He shows that to me every single day. And because of that fact, I can be confident that even when I think I can’t, He empowers me to…
JUST SAY NO TO FOMO!!
~jo