These past few months, I’ve been on an interesting journey of exploring my interests and my faith and trying to find the point at which they work together. (This is also a large part of why I haven’t been posting often + regularly.) If you’ve ever meandered your way over to the “Who Is Jo” tab, you’ll notice that one of my interests is fashion. I’ve never made it a big deal on here because, well, I didn’t think it was a big deal. Until recently. For the purpose of keeping this post at a read-able length, I’m going to save the full story of how I began to really develop my passion for fashion for a later post.
I think my initial emotions/thoughts when I realized I wanted to seriously pursue fashion were surprise + confusion. Surprise because this was something in my life I had purposely and specifically marked “off-limits.” In other words, I felt very hesitant about this interest and forbade myself from even thinking of going into it vocationally. Confusion because this was also foreign territory to me. No one in my life was involved in the fashion industry, so I felt a little bit alone in the sense that I couldn’t go to anyone for advice.
One of the personal goals I set for myself was that I wanted my future career, whatever that may be, to be strongly influenced by my faith. I also wanted my future career to be a way I could help build the kingdom of God. To me, fashion was not going to do any of that. But oh how I desperately wanted it to. So I began praying about it… HARD, and taking itty bitty baby steps by researching how others had combined fashion and faith. I felt a little better after that but I still felt like I had a huge roadblock in my way. No matter how hard I pushed it, it just wouldn’t budge.
Then URBANA happened. I came into the conference with very very high expectations. I expected huge revelations and mind-blowing messages. So when I didn’t receive any of that, I started to question my decision to go to Urbana. There were so many other Christian conferences I could’ve gone to, yet I chose this one. Did I make the wrong choice?
However I knew that God brought me here for a reason. If He didn't want me here, He would’ve made sure I couldn’t come. So I waited for Him to reveal that reason.
During Urbana, I had the opportunity to go to discernment and prayer rooms to try and make sense of God’s calling for my future vocation. Up to now, even though I had been praying for months, I felt that God wasn't answering any of my questions, not clearly at least. So I went to these rooms hoping to finally get an answer. But I didn’t.
By this point, I had pretty much given up. I thought: “Maybe God’s not gonna reveal anything to me for a while. Maybe this is a lesson on patience.”
And then Blythe Hill*, with her floor-length black dress, stepped onto the Urbana stage. I was blown away by how much I related to her story. She said she loved fashion and writing, but thought they were silly passions that couldn’t serve the kingdom of God. GURL I FEEL. These were the exact feelings I was experiencing!
After her message, I thought in my head that I really wished I could talk to her, but I didn't think I would have that opportunity, so I just let that wish die.
The very next day, I was heading to a museum with my pals and we went down an escalator in the convention center. At the bottom of this escalator, a volunteer stood there and told us that Blythe Hill was in the room adjacent to the escalator giving a Q+A session. HELLO?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? I wanted to scream right there. This was exactly what I had wished for!!! And it was happening!!! So I went, and everything happened exactly as I imagined it! I got to ask her my Q’s, and got to have a 5 minute convo with her during which she gave me encouragement, and I got a picture with her!!
How amazing is it that God answered my prayer in this way, LOUD + CLEAR! I’m still reeling from how things happened. We could’ve gone down any other escalator in that HUGE convention center. But we went down that one that brought me to this unannounced, very low-key Q+A session. I was at the exact place God wanted me at the exact time that God had designated.
Even though I’m still unsure of my vocational future in fashion. I’m at peace knowing that I can pursue this fashion passion of mine confidently, because I have a God who has already let me know it’s OK. In fact, it was OK the moment I involved Him in the conversation. Because where He is, all things are good.
~jo
she is beauty, she is grace, she is Blythe Hill.
(ft. a spud like me)
*Blythe Hill is the founder of Dressember, a campaign that raises awareness and money to combat human trafficking. During Dressember, participants are challenged to wear a dress every day for the month of December. Learn more about it here!