For Lent 2019, I decided to give up shopping for clothing as well as anything I didn’t need. I knew it was going to be hard, but honestly, at some points it got so difficult, to the point that I actually thought I was going to break Lent this year. But it was also at those points that I learned a lot about myself and my weaknesses and learned to not let myself be defeated by my weaknesses.
WHY DID I GIVE UP SHOPPING??
That’s easy peezy to answer, simply because I noticed that I had started spending a lot of money on things I really didn’t need, things such as EXCESS clothing. Perhaps this was due to my decision to seriously pursue fashion, but regardless, I don’t think it should be something I become accustomed to using as an excuse to go shopping.
I think the timing was pretty amazing because right when I felt that my purchasing habits were spiraling out of control, Lent peeked its head in the door and said HELLO I’M HERE! And I KNEW God was challenging me to give up what had become the love of my life. (Read more about what Lent is here!) He was challenging me to use these next 40 days to remember who the OG love of my life is. So although I was super duper reluctant at first, I decided to go with it. I think what drove me to that decision was ultimately the guilt I felt because I knew that my love affair with clothing + other material was exactly that, an affair! I had misplaced my love, and it was time to refocus!
THE PROCESS
The first coupla days weren’t bad, at all. The problem wasn’t that I was buying something every day. The problem was that every time I bought something, I didn’t think twice. If I wanted it, I was getting it. So the first few days, when I didn’t really feel like I desired anything, everything was fine. I was like, “hey I can do this!” But then, I started noticing a trend in the fashion community, these padded Blair Waldorf-esque headbands started popping up all over influencers’ Instagrams and I. WANTED. ONE. SO. BADLY. Before I started Lent, I would’ve just bought one on Amazon, EZ. But I couldn’t. And that was so painful. All I could do was gaze at pictures of these headbands on Pinterest.
Surprisingly though, that desire went away in about a week. I still thought about those headbands from time to time, but I no longer felt that I just HAD to have one, or else I would die from trend FOMO (it’s real you guys). I wish I could say that was the end of it, but it wasn’t. As soon as my desire for the headbands dwindled down, I started noticing another trend, layered coin necklaces!!! And I went through the same exact process again. And again. And again. And again.
But you know what? Every time I felt like I just HAD to have something, it eventually went away on its own in a week’s time. And I was forced to ask myself these question: “If these desires went away so quickly, did I really have any genuine, meaningful feelings for these items in the first place?” and “If this is a recurring theme, did I really need to make all those purchases in the past? If I had just waited it out instead of impulsively buying, could I have avoided spending the money?” Not gonna lie, it was hard to ask myself these questions. I was uncomfortable because I knew that the answers would be ones that contradicted the purchasing decisions I made.
There was one point though, where it did get especially difficult, and that was actually towards the end of the 40 days. I actually dreamed one night about this limited edition article of clothing that I really really really wanted and had been eyeing for some time, but obviously couldn’t get, because… Lent. But if I didn’t get it right then, then I would never be able to have it. It felt so real and I remember feeling so sad, thinking of so many ways I could obtain this piece without technically breaking Lent. And then I woke up, and felt so relieved. But that dream really demonstrated to me how much value I place upon clothing/shopping.
WHAT DID I LEARN?
The negatives
Well, for one, I learned just how much shopping I actually did and just how much money I actually spent on things I didn’t need. Every time I wanted something, I would make a beeline to Amazon, before I remembered I was on Lent. It made me sad because I realized how carelessly I abused money. It had already become a terrible habit. Furthermore, it also emphasized the fact that these things were things I really didn’t need. I didn’t shop for 40 days, and look! I’m still alive, perfectly healthy, and doing juuuuust fine!
The positives
This process also reminded me of a lot of things about God that I had forgotten. There were so. many. times. when I felt the urge to go online shopping. The funny thing about Lent is, I feel like whenever I give up something, the temptations increase even more. For instance, one of my favorite style bloggers launched her clothing line’s spring collection right in the middle of Lent, and it included so many GORGEOUS pieces. I knew that this collection was going to sell out in a day but I. Was. On. Lent. I felt so frustrated and was so tempted to break Lent. But in that moment, when I felt my willpower wasn’t enough, God swooped in to save the day! He gave me the courage and the ability to say no to my desires. Giving up shopping also reinforced the fact that GOD IS SUFFICIENT. I don’t need more clothing. I don’t need more decor. I don’t need more accessories. What I DO need more of is God and His love and His grace. If I have that, then we good fam. And the best part is it comes at no price! :)
If you weren’t able to participate in Lent this year, I HIGHLY encourage you to try it out next year! I will admit it is a challenge, but I think it’s such a necessary one. And no judgment if you can’t last all 40 days!! The purpose isn’t to criticize your lack of discipline/willpower, rather it is to hopefully teach you something about yourself as well as the God who loves you! <3
~jo