Someone please explain to me how in the world it’s already the end of my sophomore year???? I honestly still feel like a small little freshman and it’s crazy to me that it’s already been 2 whole years since I first stepped foot on campus.
But now here we are, and it’s been a year FULL of changes. My sophomore experience was something I never even imagined it would be, in a good way ofc. My life now looks completely different from what it was a year ago. I went through so many new and amazing experiences that contributed to how I grew. There were times of extreme sadness + frustration, yet at the same time, there were times of immense + uncontainable joy. And of course, God was teaching me little lessons through it all. There was one lesson in particular that I noticed kept popping up in my life, taking on various forms. And that was: learning to entrust my relationships to God.
If you know me, you know that I VALUE my relationships like no other. I am def a people-pleaser and one problem that I have is idolizing my friendships. I tend to rely on them too much for satisfaction and self-worth, and that was something God really convicted me of this year.
One of the best parts of my freshman year, I would say, was the community I found at UT. I felt so loved and thought that my friendships were so solid. But that was challenged almost as soon as I began my sophomore year. I had expected all my friendships from freshman year to remain the same. So when they didn’t, I found myself feeling so so hurt. I felt so disappointed in my friends, so disappointed in myself. I struggled to understand why exactly these friendships changed. Was it something I did? Something I said? Was I not a good friend?
Through all these negative emotions I was struggling through though, God was trying to tell me something. I just had to be still and listen to Him. He was telling me, urging me to entrust my relationships to Him. If I claimed that He is truly a God who can take care of everything, why was I refusing to surrender control of my relationships to Him? Why couldn’t I trust that He could take care of the relationship aspect of my life? Why was I freaking out over something that God totally has control of??
This also made me realize that even though it was true that I was becoming more distant from some of my friends, that didn’t necessarily mean it was a bad thing. Relationships change all the time and that’s a natural process of life. People’s interests change, and with that the people they hang out with will naturally change as well. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that my friendships had changed. Not my friends’, and not mine either. We didn't grow apart because we hated each other, it was simply because of our changing + growing personalities, and that’s totally ok! It’s all part of the growing process!!
Another instance in which God challenged me to think about the way I idolized friendships was at the beginning of spring semester. At this point, I had made up my mind to pursue fashion and started investing more time in my fashion org, trying to meet new friends and learn more about the fashion industry. It was definitely challenging at first and I felt so incredibly lonely. I had just stepped foot into the org so I didn’t have many solid friends just yet. At the same time, as a result of my decision to spend more time with my fashion org, I spent less time with my campus ministry community and I felt like I was drifting further and further away from them.
During this period of time, I felt stuck in the in-between. My love language is quality time, so the fact that I wasn’t really spending quality time with anyone made me feel super drained and there were times when I questioned whether or not my friendships were as real as I thought they were. But it was also during this time that I felt God was telling me that because I value quality time with other people so much, I had neglected to spend quality time with Him. And so in my head, I thought: “Maybe I’m in this situation because God wants me to spend quality time with Him.”
I’m not perfect, and I definitely still have a lot to learn about human relationships. But looking back on this past year, I learned so much about myself, about others, about the way I interact with others, and even more about who God is and how He protects my relationships. And I’m so grateful.
What’s next for JO??? For the next 2.5 months, I’ll be in Shanghai, China interning with an entertainment company called Mingyian, where I’ll be working on event coordination and social media marketing. Stay tuned for my upcoming adventures + maybe even some celeb sightings??? oOoOoOoO
~jo
SOME OTHER FUN THINGS I DID IN SOPHOMORE YEAR:
moved into my first apartment!! OT 44!!!
roomed with 3 seniors who have changed my life
led a small group at Epic fall retreat
led an upperclassmen Epic small group
started counseling for Lighthouse (my church’s youth ministry)
learned to cook… ish???
ate apples every day… like actually tho
went to a cool pop-up insta-museum called the FOMO Factory
traveled to St. Louis 2 times in 2 months
urbana 2k18
eric nam (MY LOVE) responded to my comment on IG
started my fashion journey (whoaaaa this one’s wildddd)
learned how to put on makeup (the impossible is truly possible)
took an insane amount of mirror selfies (I feel so vain)
volunteered at local Austin fashion shows
helped to produce the UT fashion show!!!!
made so many angel friends in my fashion org!! <3
improved my sewing skills by juuuuust a bit
started giving styling tips to my friends
started my fashion blog!!!!
subscribed to Vogue
had some pretty solid thrift hauls ;)
got an internship in Shanghai
finished my Chinese minor!!
took my last science class EVER!!! (I hope)
started discipling someone (disciples makin disciples hehe)
fell even more in love with God <3
WHILE WE’RE AT IT, HERE’S SOME FUN FOTOS FROM SOPHOMORE YEAR!!
